双向使我从一个败类到一流翻译的故事

ZHANGXS05

我学英语是由于燥狂引起的，在抑郁下，英语又是我唯一的精神支柱，是让我能活下去的动力，我没有什么文化，混到了中专毕业，我从2003年11月开始从ABC自学英语到现在，其中我靠英语找了些翻译，口译的工作，都因为抑郁都不做了。

我在2003底的时候，大脑不知怎么了，突然对生活中一切都很感兴趣，不过此前我是一个很专注的人，于是我就把我的interests，主要定在英语（那那时是打基础在练习听力和阅读），跑步，计算机，哲学，以及广泛的高质量阅读上（记得有一天晚上室友在寝室里做烧烤，搞得我没法睡，我就一个人拿着被子出去了，碰巧我发现图书馆的门没有锁，我一个人就把没有靠窗户那边的灯打开了，我就开始找书看，找到了我一见钟情的《读书》杂志）。每天早上5：30一起来就喝水后去跑10圈，然后开始练习英语听写，直到上课，不管上什么课，我都能向老师提出各种各样的问题。我那时每天都是这样过，我可以在路灯下看书看到为所欲为，活在当下，我身边虽然没有一个要好的朋友和同学，可是我从来没有感到寂寞，烦躁，无聊。不过这种状态很快就200404被打破了，......

To be continued
I will back soon

without much ado, there is one diary I wrote to my dad.

ZHANGXS05

Dad, as I read alone with the BD surviving guide book, i have gained more insights and objective facts  into my particular case.  

I have a chronical constipation, until then I didn't know what lead to it, for i did excerice often, not eat spicy and stimulating food frequently, and i have eaten vegetablesz/fruits rich in dietary fibers on a daily basis. Now, i finally understood it was  resulted from depression, since in the depth of depression, i had remarkably decreased  activities, nearly all the time i have led a sedentary lifestyle during the dark period. In the meantime, I didn't eat foods contain fibers that often, so much so that I drink much less water than normal.

I knew since depression just incapicitate people, let them be inactive, nothing is tempeting or irresitable for them before(including sex) for them, the less activities they did, more severe their depression would be. I'd compel myself to do sth, to break the deadlock. it's hard, but if i wanna my depression diminished and get out of the vicious cycle, then i must have to against this prodisposition.

I did a ZUNG Self-Rating Depression Scale, scored 66, meaning i have a moderate to marked level of depression.

The bright spot during my depressive periods is that I didn't shut off entirely from the outside world, i did talk to others, esp you. and i honestly talk about my conditions to others regardless of having empathic, lukewarm, misunderstanding, blahhing, .
'boo' reactions.

Chatting with you later, my dearest and lovest, terrific dad.

ZHANGXS05

20100201Diary

Today, though at the depth of this recur,  I tried to overcome it with the force and toughness at the peak of  recent month. The reason might be multiple, ample sunlshine, the  old newness, dad's persistent love, the willpower in my mentality  rekindled. No matter what, ilike I discussed with dad, if I can  take the whole pic of counter strategy into consideration, I am  strong, the devil weaker and it's days to disappear are numbered.  

In this process, I consicously remind myself of two vital points,  
1. Like dad made it clearer, it's the depression devil masked me,  took control of me, I may can't expel it out or struggle with it  effectively, all of these efforts may go in vain, apart from the  concrete and continuous realization, " It's not Wikid, it's the  depression's kid masked me . ! ".
2. The Power of Now Regreting  past and have nostalgia is in vain, the past is past, we are not  correctional officers, we can't renew it to the most optimal and  reasonable way. We can't, that's nature. Though we have a  entrenched propensity to regret, try to picture this, you spent  time regreting "at the moment" that translates into you will  squader the next moment regreting about the last moment, it's  vicious and perilous cycle. By the same token, we didn't have  control over the future, the countless "NeXTs" , if you truly wanna  the make-believe future propsect will be the way we anticipated, we  should never wasting time on thinking about it or planning about  it, the top initiative is to seize the moement, to seize the very  second, let the past, however rewarding or regrettable to the past,  and future is made of every present second, we can control the  future, yes, I have no doubt on that idea, we can try out best to  spend the current immeduate second meaningfully, if we can have no  regrets about the past and no anxiety and. Blind, ungrounded  optimism on the future, then we can lead a more self-conscious,  controllable and zen-like, simplistic life and the way that life  entail: " be it interaction with people, challenge ourselves and  push our limits to the envelope, the externalization of our  innermost strength, the most sincere vbintrospection, to name a  few) Here is some tidbits i what I have done:
1. Looking at  Jamison's memoir seeking inspiration, understood what I should  proud of myself, being too self-depreciating isn't a good thing  it's different from being humble, and which things I should take to  let myself armed-to-teeth physolgoically, mentally.
2. Gained  insights and the single most important oppress the depression  motto, thanks dad your words and action mean a world of kindness  and difference to me, as the cliche goes : I have you, I had it  all." 3. Trailblaze, for the first time in nearly two and half  months, I have regained the running habit and did it with the level  of speed I normally did ! Pour tons of sweats, tasting the  bittersweet feeling under the sunshine, it's great ! 4, I didn't  eat lunch on purpose, from time to time we should cleanse our bowls  to let the diry and residues out, I just accelerate this process by  drinking a great deal of water and eating fruits, cucumber. 5. In  the evening, I watched the State of the Union address in its  entirety, subsequently, I read Anandtech's aritcle on the  newly-arrived iPad, it's believed it will transform many  indsturies, publishing, computing, I reckon the most relieving  thing for the end user is that unlike iPhone it didn't bundle up  with the operator, it's prepaid monthly and the starting price is  499 USDs which is cheap by Apple's terms. Let me ending here, dad,  chatting with you later if you like, your Wikid lives in the  moment. And taking the joy and Zen-like satisfication from the  present rendered by the present second(which is let you know I am  strong, and stronger than ever, if I have had few strengths, the  one is most remarkable, I am like a phonix, after trials and  tribulations against the bumpy and choppy waves, I emerged from  that dark moment stronger than last time, bravo ! Dad, have a good  day I am thinking you all the time, you reside on my  consicousness and no rents ensued, it's free of charge and forever.

风吹尘

Excellent English level! In my opinion.

BTW, would you like to tell me where your head portrait comes from? TKS.

ZHANGXS05

Originated from MOKO.CC，

The above posted essays are my experience in dealing with depression discussed with my US dad

lly316

你这么厉害啊 我现在可能有点抑郁 提不起来 想继续学没那个心情

ZHANGXS05

I have internalized English learning as my engrained haibt, so under whatever scenario, be it hypomania or depression, or normalcy, the difference is effiency, intensity of focus and the enthusiasm.

wing20081218

好棒呀，居然自学成才，还能自力更力，是我学习的榜样。
让我看到一处曙光，谢谢楼主的分享！！！

wing20081218

最近因为一些家里不开心的事情影响我的情绪，
集中不了精神，做什么都提不起兴趣。
好多事情要做，但只会拖。

钟摆摆

佩服，，，你乃榜样是也

钟摆摆

请问你的口语通过什么途径练习的？

ZHANGXS05

请问你的口语通过什么途径练习的？
钟摆摆 发表于 10-7-20 22:22

1. Listening to native and standard English is key to your oral English.

2. Partaking in English corner actively and making some friends there in order to "target" each other privately and explicitly.

3. Job requirement

4. I have an adopted US dad who is everything to me and the reason of my survival.

5. Seize every single chance to practice, polish and reap and joy, sweats and hardship in overcoming our self-interest, narrow-mindedness, inattentiveness, etc.

hahaha1973

you are very diligent. why don't we learn english together?

春花秋实

厉害，自学成才

Imherba

佩服！佩服！