1,001 Smiles!!!!

Charlie Z. Song

My name is Montgomery S. Esstein.
What's the S stand for?
Nothing. My father dropped a noodle on my birth certificate.

Kathy

Dear Charles,

Your name is Charles Z. Song.
What's the Z stand for?
...

PLEASE DON'T throw stones to me!!!!

Charlie Z. Song

you know what? at that time, my brother watched a very famous movie: in chinese: ZUO LUO (acurally PING YI), right? he drawed "Z" everywhere....and, including my birth-certificate.

Kathy

Amazing!!!!!!!!!!!!! But wait a minute, did you father at that time already decide to have a Z as your initial for your given name?

绿罗裙

haha,Brother Song is really humorous!I think it is just a joke,but what is the truth?

  My friend Connie was very supportive of her husband's campaign to be elected vice president of his union,but missing seeing him off for work the day of the election.
   Since she'd be late arriving home,she left a message for him on their answering machine:"Good luck,dear,and don't worry.No matter how the election turns out,you'll always be president at our house."

绿罗裙

A Japanese company and an American company had a boat race,the Janpanese won by a mile.The American hired experts to work out what went wrong.They reported that the Japanese had one person managing and seven rowing,while the Americans had seven managing and only one rowing.The American company immediately reorganised its team.Now they had one senior manager,six management consultants and one rower.In the rematch the Japanese won by two miles.So the American company fired the rower.

Charlie Z. Song

that's good question! i am going to uncover it at the end of year 30000.
i love that "Japanese vs American Company" haha, very funny! i have been noticing two things recently:
1. i often go to drink coffee very early morning, almost 100% americans never turn off the engine, and, they never lock their cars! my god! if they are in China, hehe, chinese will let them know the security is very very important!
2. every monday and Thursday i go to Acupuncture by bus, very interesting, if you arrive your destination, just push the button (yellow one) very near you, then a singnal will ring and a message will be displayed in front of the driver. good.

Charlie Z. Song

President Bill Clinton is visiting an elementary school today and he visits one of the classes (4th grade I believe). They are in the middle of a discussion related to words and their meanings. The teacher asks the President if he would like to lead the class in the discussion of the word, "tragedy." So our illustrious leader asks the class for an example of a "tragedy."

One little boy stands up and offers, "If my best friend, who lives next door, is playing in the street and a car comes along and runs him over, that would be a tragedy."

"No," says Clinton, "that would be an accident."

A little girl raises her hand: "If a school bus carrying 50 children drove off a cliff, killing everyone involved, that would be a tragedy."

"I'm afraid not," explains Mr. President. "That's what we would call a GREAT LOSS."

The room goes silent. No other children volunteer. President Clinton searches the room. "Isn't there someone here who can give me an example of a tragedy?"

Finally, way in the back of the room, a small boy raises his hand. In a quiet voice he says, "If Air Force One, carrying Mr. & Mrs. Clinton, was struck by a missile and blown up to smithereens, that would be a tragedy.

"Fantastic," exclaims Clinton, "that's right. And can you tell me WHY that would be a tragedy?"

"Well," says the boy, "because it wouldn't be an accident, and it certainly would be no great loss."

Kathy

he is so cute!

风吹尘

hahahaha.....so many funny jokes!

Kathy

Late one night at the insane asylum (the place where insane people live)one inmate shouted, "I am Napoleon!"
Another one said, "How do you know?"
The first inmate said, "God told me!"
Just then, a voice from another room shouted, "I did not!"

Kathy

Welcome, 风吹尘!

Charlie Z. Song

English Hospitality

An American tourist in London decides to skip his tour group and explore the city on his own. He wanders around, seeing the sights, occasionally stopping at a quaint pub to soak up the local culture, chat with the locals, and have a pint of bitter.

After a while, he finds himself in a very nice neighbourhood with big, stately residences. No pubs, no stores, no restaurants, and worst of all no public restrooms.

However, he really has to go, after all those Guinness's. He finds a narrow side street, with high walls surrounding the adjacent buildings and decides to use the wall to solve his problem.

As he is unzipping, he is tapped on the shoulder by a London bobby, who says, "Sir, you simply cannot do that here, you know."

"I'm very sorry, officer," replies the American, "but I really have to go, and I just can't find a public restroom."

"Ah, yes," said the bobby, "just follow me". He leads the American to a back delivery alley to a gate, which he opens.

"In there," points the bobby, "whiz away sir, anywhere you like."

The fellow enters and finds himself in the most beautiful garden he has ever seen. Manicured grass lawns, statuary, fountains, sculptured hedges, and huge beds of gorgeous flowers, all in perfect bloom.

Since he has the policeman's blessing, he relieves himself and feels much more comfortable. As he goes back through the gate, he says to the bobby "That was really decent of you. Is that what you call English hospitality?"

"No sir...", replied the bobby, "that is what we call the French Embassy."

Kathy

This is a REAL FUN story!!! Thanks, Charles.

Charlie Z. Song

Make-Over

Once upon a time there was a blonde with long hair, blue eyes, she was sick of all the blonde jokes.

One day, she decided to get a make over, so she cut and dyed her hair.

She also went out and bought a new convertible.

She went driving down a country road and came across a herd of sheep.

She stopped and called the sheepherder over.

"That's a nice flock of sheep.", she said.

"Well thank you.", said the herder. "Tell you what. I have a proposition for you.", said the woman.

"Okay.", replied the herder.

"If I can guess the exact number of sheep in your flock, can I take one home?", asked the woman. "Sure.", said the sheepherder.

So, the girl sat up and looked at the herd for a second and then replied, "382".

"Wow.", said the herder. "That is exactly right.

Go ahead and pick out the sheep you want to take home."

So the woman went and picked one out and put it in her car.

Upon watching this, the herder approached the woman and offered, "Okay, now I have a proposition for you".

"What is it?", queried the woman.

"If I can guess the real color of your hair... can I have my dog back?"