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1,001 Smiles!!!!

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1#
发表于 05-12-26 04:34:49 | 只看该作者 回帖奖励 |倒序浏览 |阅读模式
Let's smile-laugh--haha together!!!
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2#
 楼主| 发表于 05-12-26 04:44:17 | 只看该作者
1. If i were given the choice between my heart's desire and a cheese sandwich, i would definitely choose the cheese sandwich. AFter all, nothing's better
(to be continued....)
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3#
 楼主| 发表于 05-12-26 10:42:39 | 只看该作者
After all, nothing's better than your heart's desire, and a cheese sandwich is better than nothing.
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4#
 楼主| 发表于 05-12-26 21:13:41 | 只看该作者
2. there are three kids in the family... one of each sex.
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5#
 楼主| 发表于 05-12-27 15:04:43 | 只看该作者
3. How could ou have a son that age?
    i didn't. When i had him he was just a baby.
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6#
 楼主| 发表于 05-12-27 21:36:35 | 只看该作者
4. Mom, please will you buy me a bicycle for my birthday?
Will it make you behave any better if i do?
No, but i'll behave over a wider area.
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7#
 楼主| 发表于 05-12-28 15:36:31 | 只看该作者
5. vow of silence
a man joined an abbey and took a vow of silence: he was allowed to speak only two words every five years. after the first five years had passed, he went to see the abbot and said: "bed hard"
whereupon he turned around and walked out of the door.
Five years later he went to see the abbot again and said: food cold. again, he turned and walked out.
AFter another 5 years had passed, he once more went to see the abbot. the time he said: "I QUIT".
"i am not surprised, responded the abbot. "All you've done since you got her is coplain."
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8#
发表于 05-12-29 17:26:56 | 只看该作者
"All you've done since you got her is coplain."

Sorry, I'm a little bit puzzled...
her--here?
coplain--complain?
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9#
发表于 05-12-29 17:28:50 | 只看该作者
coplain--complaint?
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10#
 楼主| 发表于 05-12-29 19:29:54 | 只看该作者
typo. it should be: complain.
sorry and "wow, you are so great!" to Kathy!!!

Kathy, don't you want to comtribute yours?

6:
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11#
发表于 05-12-30 09:38:55 | 只看该作者
6. This guy wanders into a bar in Germany one day and orders a drink. Sitting down he notices two guys, the spitting image(look exactly the same) of Hitler and Goering. Wandering over to them he says 'Hey, you know that you two look exactly like Hitler and Goering ?'
'Sure', says Goering 'cos we are. We've been hiding out in South America for a few years and now we've decided to make a come back. This time we are going to exterminate (kill)9 million Jews and 10 computer analysts'.
'Why the 10 analysts?', says the guy.
'See', says Goering to Hitler, 'I told you no one cared about the Jews'.
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12#
 楼主| 发表于 05-12-30 10:58:05 | 只看该作者
hahaha...............HAHAHA....................
that's really good one! thanks to Kat!
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13#
 楼主| 发表于 05-12-31 08:57:52 | 只看该作者
7. If a dog's prayers were answered, bones would fall from the sky.
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14#
发表于 06-1-5 10:36:36 | 只看该作者
Teacher: Here are 2 birds, one is a swallow, the other is sparrow. Now who can tell us which is which?
Student: I cannot point out but I know the answer.
Teacher: Please tell us.
Student: The swallow is beside the sparrow and the sparrow is beside the swallow.
Teacher:...

P.S. He is so cute...
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15#
 楼主| 发表于 06-1-6 03:52:50 | 只看该作者
New Years Resolutions   

  1. Gain weight. At least 30 pounds.
2. Stop exercising. Waste of time.

3. Read less. Makes you think.

4. Watch more TV. You've been missing some good stuff.

5. Procrastinate more. Starting tomorrow.

6. Stop bringing lunch from home: Eat out more.

7. Get in a whole NEW rut!

8. Spend your summer vacation in Cyberspace.

9. Don't eat cloned meat.

10. Create loose ends.

11. Get more toys.

12. Get further in debt.

13. Don't believe politicians.

14. Break at least one traffic law.

15. Avoid airplanes that spontaneously drop 1000 feet.

16. Don't swim with piranhas or sharks.

17. Associate with even worse business clients.

18. Spread out priorities beyond ability to keep track of them.

19. Wait around for opportunity.

20. Focus on the faults of others.

21. Mope about faults.

22. Never make New Year's resolutions again.
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