今日生活--英语学习系列

欣弃羁

三．今日生活
The
Seven
Deadly
Sins
of
Work
Life
Balance
（I
）
影响工作生活平衡的七宗罪(
上)
In the thirteenth century, Dante listed the Seven Deadly Sins on the pathway to Paradise:
Gluttony
, lust, greed, envy, pride, anger and sloth
. Now, almost eight hundred years
later, people are still committing these seven sins in Work Life Balance.
1.
Gluttony:
Trying
to
be
all
things
to
all
people
:
Don’t try to be all things to all people. If you try to please everybody, you will end up
satisfying nobody.
The secret to being successful at balancing life is to allow yourself to be human and
release guilt from your life. Everyone gets wound up at times, when you notice it
happening simply acknowledge where you are and move back to doing something more
balanced. Don’t give yourself a hard time or anything-just keep moving forward.
2:
Lust:
Falling
in
love
with
“
gimmicks
”
Focus your time, money and energy on the things that matter, not just those that catch
your eye right now. This doesn’t mean an endless quest for Mr. Right, but it does mean
that you don’t have to settle
for
Mr. Right Now.
When it comes to balancing your life, this means stop buying a new thing every time you
feel stressed or unhappy. Shopping has become the latest way that people try to make
themselves happy. You keep buying stuff that brings happiness for a very short period of
time and when this wears
off
you’re back at the shops again.
Go for things that really make you happy like time with good friends compared to short
lived shopping trips for more dust collecting stuff.
3.
Greed:
Looking
for
too
much
too
fast:
When you first get started living a balanced life, there’s a temptation to do everything at
once. But if you chase two horses, you’ll catch neither of them. The best way to get
started is to choose one activity that is likely to give you high value, do that well, and then
move on to the next.
That’s not to say that you should only be doing one thing at a time. But just be sure that
everything you do is done well. Go for quality not quantity.
4.
Envy:
Copying
tactics
that
don
’
t
fit
your
strategy:
A Russian soldier stationed in West Berlin after the Second World War wandered into an
empty house and saw an electric light bulb for the first time. Fascinated by this magic
light-generating globe, he cut it off with his bayonet
and put it in his knapsack
so he
could carry around the light with him wherever he went.
The
same
is
true
with
living a balanced life. Don’t just do what somebody else tells you
to do, unless you know why they do it. If they are successful, what they are doing is just
one part of their strategy. You can’t just pick up that one thing, put it in your knapsack,
take it somewhere else and use it to light up your world.
By all means, look around to see what others are doing, but don’t just copy their tactics
without understanding how and where they fit your life. Get the whole picture and then
implement it as a system.
(To
be
continued)
gluttony: 暴食
sloth: 懒惰e.g. Sloth is mother of poverty.
be all things to all people: 满足所有人
gimmick: 伎俩，小手段
settle for: 勉强接受（尽管不满意）
e.g. We settled for the apartment although its location is not satisfactory.
wear off: 磨损
bayonet: 刺刀
knapsack:（士兵或者徒步旅游者使用的）背包
The same is true with…: 同样的道理也适用于…
早在13 世纪，但丁在通往天堂的路途中列出了七宗罪：暴食，欲望，贪婪，嫉妒，骄傲，愤怒和懒
惰。如今，近800 年以后，人们在平衡工作生活的过程中仍旧犯着七宗罪。
1.
暴食：试图取悦所有人
不要试图取悦所有人，否则你会取悦不了任何人。
和谐的工作和生活秘诀在于生活地更人性化，学会缓解自己的负罪感。每个人都会有受挫的时候，当
你注意到这点时，只要简单地看清你处于什么位置，退后一步使自己更平衡。不要难为自己—直需向前进。
2.
欲望：爱上“
噱头”
把你的时间，金钱和精力花在真正值得的事物上吧，而不只是那些立即夺人眼球的噱头。这并不意味
着你要无止境地寻求你的白马王子，但也是在说你不必现在就勉强接受他。
在生活平衡方面，这点指的是不要在一感到压力和不快时，就去购买新的东西。购物已变成人们愉悦
自己的最新方式。你买来的那些东西只能在短期内给你带来快乐，而一旦东西消耗完了，你只好又回到商
店去了。
去寻求那些真的会让你快乐的东西吧，比如和好朋友一起度过的美好时光，比起那些购来不久就去积
灰的东西，实在值得多了。
3.
贪婪：渴求太多，太快：
当你最初开始过上和谐的生活，你会有一种冲动马上做一切想做的事。但鱼和熊掌不可兼得。最好的
方法是选择价值较高的其一，好好做，然后转向下一个目标。
这不是说同一时间内你只能做一件事，而是确保你把任何事都处理好了。我们追求的应当是质量而不
是数量。
4.
嫉妒：照搬不适合你的技巧：
二战后，一个驻扎于西柏林的俄罗斯士兵闲逛进了一所空房子，第一次看见电灯泡。他对这个会发光
的小球很痴迷，于是用刺刀把它割了下来，放进自己的背包，他觉得这样他就可以把光带到任何他想去的
地方了。
和谐的生活也是这个道理。不要别人说什么你就做什么，除非你知道他们这么做的理由。如果他们成
功了，那么他们的方法只是整个计划中的一部分。你不能只截取一部分，放进你的背包，然后把它带到别
的地方，用来点亮你的世界。
所以，在观察他人做事的同时，你一定不能只模仿跟随别人的技巧，却不考虑这些是否适合你的生活。
你必须有一个整体的概念，然后比较系统地执行整个计划。
The
Seven
Deadly
Sins
of
Work
Life
Balance:
(II)
影响工作生活平衡的七宗罪(
下)
In the thirteenth century, Dante listed the Seven Deadly Sins on the pathway to Paradise:
Gluttony
, lust, greed, envy, pride, anger and sloth
. Now, almost eight hundred years
later, people are still committing these seven sins in Work Life Balance.
…
5.
Pride:
Holding
on
to
things
that
aren
’
t
working:
If what you’re doing isn’t working, do something else! I know that that sounds obvious,
but it never ceases to amaze me how often people keep repeating unsuccessful patterns.
If you’re running tired all of the time, or don’t even have time to run tired, look at what
you are doing. Your lifestyle is obviously not working for you if it is sucking the life out of
you constantly. Find a system you can use to get what you want out of life and implement
it one step at a time like you would with any new system in the workplace.
It usually doesn’t take much effort to solve these problems. But the first step is to
recognize them, and commit to doing something about them one step at a time.
6.
Anger:
Blaming
other
people
for
your
lack
of
success:
If you’re not getting the success you desire, look to yourself first. Even if it is somebody
else’s “fault”, you could be waiting a long time for them to fix
things for you. It is far
better to take responsibility yourself to find a solution.
For example, if you have lost your spark for life and your health is suffering, you need to
look at what you have been doing to get to that state. You are responsible for what you
put in your mouth each day, for how you treat yourself and for what you get out of life.
If you are treating your physical and emotional body like a second-class citizen then that is
what you will get back in
return
. You will get a body that won’t give you the energy for
anything. Accept the responsibility and be healthy now.
7.
Sloth:
Dragging
your
feet
:
Above all, do it now! None of the other advice in this article will do you any good at all
unless you take action.
It’s too easy to say “I’ll go to the gym next week”, or “I’ll start eating healthy tomorrow”,
or “I’ll fix my office environment after I finish this next project.”
It’s often easy to take action, but it’s almost always easy to not take action. Successful
people do the things that unsuccessful people don’t do.
Your success is in your hands – it’s up
to
you
!
gluttony 暴食
sloth 懒惰
e.g. Sloth is mother of poverty.
fix 调整，修复
in return 作为回报
drag one’s feet 拖拖拉拉
e.g. The naughty boy dragged his feet in doing the homework.
be up to you 由你做主
早在13 世纪，但丁在通往天堂的路途中列出了七宗罪：暴食，欲望，贪婪，嫉妒，骄傲，愤怒和懒
惰。如今，近800 年以后，人们在平衡工作生活的过程中仍旧犯着七宗罪。
……
5.
骄傲：执着于没有成效的事物：
如果你所做的事没有成效，那么去做些别的！我知道这听上去是显而易见的，但我一直都觉得很奇怪，
人们怎么能不断重复徒劳的事情呢。
如果你常感到疲倦，甚至是连疲倦的时间都没有，你就要反思一下你正在做的事了。如果你的生活方
式经常弄得你精疲力竭的话，说明它显然不适合你。找到一个适合你的方法体系，一步步执行它，就和你
在工作时候的步骤一样。
解决这些问题花不了多少精力。但第一步是要认清它们，然后致力于一步步达成。
6.
愤怒：把自己的失败归咎他人：
如果你没有如期许般成功，你要先审视下自己。即便真的是别人的“过错”，你也应该等待别人来弥补。
自己担负起责任来寻求解决方法是再好不过的了。
比如说，如果你失去生活的活力，健康受损，你必须审视你做了什么导致现在的处境。你得为你每天
吃进去的食物负责，为你是如何对待自己负责，为你能从生活中得到什么负责。
如果你像个次等公民那般对待你的生理和心理健康，那么你也将得到它回报你的。你的身体将无法提
供给你获得一切的能量。接受责任，现在起就健康起来。
7.
懒惰：拖拖拉拉
最重要的是，你得立刻做！如果你不采取行动的话，这篇文章中任何一个建议都是没有帮助的。
说一句“我下周就去健身”或“我明天开始好好吃东西”或“等我做好这个项目以后就开始改善办公室环
境”都是很简单的。
要采取行动常常很容易，但更容易的是什么都不做。成功人士所做的就是那些失败者不做的事。
你的成功掌握在自己手中—接下来就看你的了！
The
London
Traveler
旅行在伦敦——
建筑摄影篇
I’ve been looking on Flickr for some photos for my posts on London buildings - and almost
every time I take a look, Steve Cadman’s photos are right at the top of the pile in terms of
quality and visual appeal. So I had a little chat with Steve about his approach to
photography.
London Traveler: Your architectural photos are really good at showing the spirit of a
building - are you an architect by profession?
Steve Cadman: I’ve been considering a career change into buildings conservation work or
even town planning, so I’ve been trying to learn as much as possible about architecture,
and to see as much as I can while I’m in London. Part of the reason for using a compact
camera is to try to keep photographing the building secondary to having a good look at it.
LT: Do you have a particular approach - a ’style’, particular kinds of compositions that you
like to use?
SC: I’m not sure I look for anything consistent in my pictures, but I’m trying to document
the building, and in particular to do justice to the ones I love, rather than trying to be
highly original, or to “use” the building to create particularly striking images. I’ve been
trying to stop myself from constantly taking slightly boring and easy “square on” photos
though. I find that as I take more photos, I get more and more fussy
about
converging
verticals, so I often try to keep the camera level, and then to crop the image afterwards.
LT: Do you find particular kinds of weather, times of day, or seasons are best for taking
photos? Do you go out especially to take photos, or just have a camera with you all the
time in case something appeals?
SC: The right weather is pretty important - diffuse
sunlight beats harsh bright sun, or the
“flat” light you get on grey days any time. I always try and get out with my camera when
it’s like that at the weekend, as frankly it does half the work of getting a good image for
you. Conversely, for interiors, the brightest summer days are often the best, as churches
etc. seem to look best lit only by natural light (probably as the architect intended), rather
than with electric lights switched on.
LT: And… I know a lot of people don’t like to answer this kind of question, but; what’s your
favourite London building?
SC: Can I cheat? My favourite interior is St Stephen Wallbrook which, like quite a few
people, I think is Christopher Wren’s best work, better than St Paul’s in fact. Surprisingly,
it usually seems to be closed (at the weekend anyway), and off the tourist trail.
My favourite exterior would be either Christchurch Spitalfields, or St Anne Limehouse
(probably the latter) by Hawksmoor. Not as beautiful as Wren’s stuff, but more original
and exciting/fascinating to look at. Christchurch is better for visitors though, because of
the beautifully restored interior.
I’m particularly interested in English baroque, as it’s thin on the ground outside London,
and Hawksmoor’s stuff (my fave
architect), is quite unlike anything else in Europe. Due to
the fact he never left England, and also to the politics of the time, I believe. His churches
are his best work, and since he only built them in London, he’s a real London speciality.
fussy about
(adj.)easy to worry about details and trivial things; choosy about something 大惊小怪的，挑
剔的
diffuse
(adj.) scattered; less intense 散开的，弱化的
fave
(adj./n.) （a）favorite 最喜爱的（东西）
我一直在Flickr 相册上寻找可以很好地阐述自己对于伦敦的建筑的感觉的照片。而每一次呢，史蒂夫·卡德
曼的照片无论是在质量上还是在视觉效果上都堪称问鼎之作。因此，我就和史蒂夫就他的摄影方法进行了
一次短短的对话。
伦敦旅行者：您的照片，在表现建筑的内在的精神风貌方面，真的都做得很好。我想请问的是，您是专业
的建筑师吗？
史蒂夫：不是的。其实是因为我自己一直在考虑职业的转变，转到对于建筑的保护工作甚至城市规划的工
作，因此我一直在尽力地了解关于建筑方面的专业知识。而且，趁着自己在伦敦，尽可能地多看一些这里
的建筑。而我选择袖珍照相机的部分理由就是在拍摄的同时也不至于让眼福大打折扣。
伦敦旅行者：那您在拍摄的时候，有没有一种特定的方法，或者说风格之类的东西。比如说，在整张照片
的构图上，你会不会说有某几种特别喜欢的方式？
史蒂夫：其实，在我的摄影里，我寻求的并不是一种可以一以贯之的方式。我所追求的是真实地记录这些
建筑物，尤其是对我自己欣赏的那些。我希望可以通过自己的相机让它们的真实面貌呈现在世人面前。也
就是说，从我的照片中，我想表现的并不是通过我自己的理解而拍摄下来的个人性的、或者说对视觉有强
烈震撼效果的东西。但是，我也尽量在避免拍一些相对来说比较平淡、比较容易把握的东西。当我拍了越
来越多的照片的时候，我开始越来越对相交的垂直线变得挑剔。所以我采取了在拍摄过程中将照相机放平，
拍摄完成之后再对照片进行裁剪的处理方法。
伦敦旅行者：相比而言,你觉得,有没有特定的天气、时间或季节是更适合拍照的?您是为了拍照而出门呢?
还是说随时带着照相机,一看到令自己心动的东西就拍下来呢?
史蒂夫：适合的天气当然是相当重要的。在这一方面，柔和的漫射光线当然比强烈的太阳光要好，而阴天
的时候的那种不刺眼的光线也很不错。在周末的时候如果遇到这种天气的话，我常常会带着相机出门。因
为这样的天气，对于图象效果，坦白的说，它已经为好的相片效果起到了一半的作用了。相反地，对于建
筑物内部的拍摄，最晴朗的夏日自然是首选。因为，有些建筑，像教堂的话，在建筑师们设计它们的时候，
其实就是希望它们在阳光的照耀下达到最好的视觉效果的。开灯的话，效果就会逊色很多了。
伦敦旅行者：接下来的这个问题，其实很多人都是不愿意回答的，但是，您有没有最钟爱的伦敦建筑呢？
史蒂夫：我可以开玩笑吗？我最钟爱的内部设计，是华布鲁克的圣斯蒂芬教堂。像很多人一样，我认为，
甚至比起圣保罗教堂，它都称得上是克里斯多·弗雷恩的最好作品。令人咋舌的是，通常情况下它都是大门
紧闭的（至少在我出门的周末是这样），因此游客们都很难觅得它的踪迹。
我最钟爱的外部设计是出自出自霍克斯穆尔之手的斯皮塔菲尔茨的基督教堂和莱姆豪斯的圣安妮教
堂。后者的话，可能更偏爱一些。与雷恩的建筑相比，它们可能不那么美。但是，看着它们的时候，可以
感受到一种更鲜活生动的力量。与圣斯蒂芬相比，基督教堂显然对游客更友好，因为它修复得如此美丽的
内部。
对于英国式的巴洛克建筑，我更是有浓烈的兴趣。在伦敦城外的地面的衬托下，它们显得苗条稀疏。
尤其是霍克斯穆尔的建筑，在欧洲来讲，更是独一无二。这可能是因为他的那个时代的政治风气以及他从
未出过英国的缘故。他的那些教堂都是他的杰作，而且因为只建在伦敦，倒真算得上是一件“伦敦特产”。
Chiaroscuro
[The
Paris
Traveler]
明暗对比看巴黎——
巴黎旅行者
I love this city no matter what time of day it is. However, if I could teleport
myself
anywhere, anytime and be totally wowed
by something, I think seeing Paris at night for
the first time ever would be beyond magnificent. For me, it feels more “alive” at night. Al
l that’s hidden allows what has been or could be make itself known. This statue sits on
the outside of the Petit Palais. During the day it is stark
white and looks and feels
triumphal. But come nighttime it seems weary, fragile, exposing its human side.
我热爱这座城市，无论是白昼还是黑夜。可是，如果我能随时把自己带去任何地方，一个能让我惊叹的地
方，我想，没有比第一次看到巴黎的夜景更妙不可言的了。对我来说，夜晚的巴黎更“鲜活”，所有在白天
被隐藏起来的东西，都在此时显露无疑。这座雕塑位于小皇宫博物馆之外，白天，纯白纯白的它，显得盛
气凌人；而到了晚上，却透露出一丝倦意，一点脆弱，展现出它柔和的一面。
The same for it’s partner. As I look at this photo, I realize that the detail is more evident,
again showing us its depth and complexity that is missing in the daylight.
它旁边的那座雕塑也是一样。我看照片的时候，发现它的细微之处，较之白天更加明显，同样向我们展示
出被日光淡化了的深意和繁复。
Architecture takes on a different feel as well. This is the Musée d’Orsay that is being
illuminated for a brief moment by one of the bateau
passing by on a night tour. The
shadows playing
off
the intricate facades again play a game with what is and what isn’t.
Years ago I took my first drawing class and the teacher kept telling us that “what isn’t
revealed or the empty space you leave is just as important as what is revealed.” For some
reason, that has stayed with me forever and proves to be true when you walk the streets
of Paris at night.
夜晚的建筑也带给人不同的感受。这是奥赛博物馆，那一瞬间恰好被一艘经过的夜游船照亮。精工细凿的
外墙上，斑斑驳驳的光影玩起了虚虚实实的游戏。几年前，从我第一次上绘画课开始，老师就一直提醒我
们：“你留下的空白空间，它的重要性并不亚于你已经表现出来的内容。”不知道为什么，这句话始终萦绕
着我。而当你漫步于夜晚的巴黎街头时，你就能体会其中的真谛。
For me, the best way to see the city at night is to just walk and walk. Not only do you
see the big sights, but you become an observer in the events taking place in the cafés and
on the street–some interesting, some not so much. I have never felt unsafe walking by
myself past dark. Never have I been threatened or followed. I can’t say the same for
cities that I have lived in in the states, so take that for what it is worth.
对我而言，欣赏巴黎夜景的最佳方式莫过于散步，这样不仅可以观赏夜间美景，也能亲见咖啡馆里和大街
上的奇闻轶事——也许有的妙趣横生，也许有的过目即忘。我从未在夜间独自散步时感到害怕，我也从来
没有遭到过威胁或跟踪。而对于我在美国居住过的那些城市，我可不敢这么说。所以，去走走吧，巴黎完
全值得你这么做。
Of course, you can take a boat ride along the river which would give you a wonderful view
of this city in all its brilliance. To see the city reflected in the Seine is mesmerizing.
A
double dose of Paris!?!? What could be better!
当然，你也可以坐船沿河游览，这样，就可以看到这座城市最绚丽的景色，塞纳河倒映下的巴黎让人心醉
神迷。那可是两个巴黎啊?!你还能奢望些什么呢！
teleport (心理学用语) 心灵传输
wow （拟声词）让人赞不绝口
stark 完全的,十足的
bateau 小舟
play off 使变丑
mesmerize 使催眠术
想和女生约会吗？先做个计划
Going
To
Ask
A
Woman
Out
On
A
Date?
Have
A
Plan
导读：或许本文所说的某些建议并不适合你，但约会前的计划和准备却能让女生感受到你的真诚和良苦用
心哦！本文有很多地道英语，也很值得我们去一读。
难度指数：★★★★★
After summoning
the
courage
, you finally land a date with the hot chick you’ve been
lusting for. You show up at the door with flowers and candy, and think that you are about
to score brownie
points
when she opens the door. I have news for you, buddy
, because
your date is probably thinking the exact opposite.
If you’re going to ask a woman out on a date, have a plan. Women love that and women
love confidence. Ask open-ended
questions. Rather than saying, “Where are you from?”
say, “Tell, me about the place where you grew up.” That will keep the conversation flowing.
Men, you should still open doors and pull out a chair for your date. These chivalrous
things still make a good impression: Plan the date near her place, not yours. And most
importantly, pick up the check.
Flowers and candy were once thought to be “romantic” or a “gentlemanly gesture.” That
was also in the days of Leave
it
to
Beaver
. Times have changed, women have changed.
Things that worked back then, just don’t work now. They don’t carry any merit, and in fact,
they actually may hurt you. Let me tell you why.
What you thought was such a sweet gesture on your part, just told the woman you are
taking on a date a very different thing. To her, flowers and candy represent a wimpy
token of appreciation in hopes of receiving her attention in exchange. They are unoriginal,
lack creativity, and are just plain cheesy
. You might get a
fake
smile
in return, and
maybe a hug if you’re lucky, but they will both lack sincerity. Strike ONE!
Not only will they lack sincerity, but you have just lost any ounce of respect you were
hoping to establish. Any ordinary fellow can pick up flowers, so you have to do something
to set yourself apart from those other guys.
Try something different. Think about every conversation that you have had with her. If you
were listening, she probably told you more than enough about herself to give you a clue on
her likes and dislikes.
Where did you meet her? At a coffee shop? At a book store? At the mall? Bringing
something of context to her will show that you not only are attentive, but are proactive
about it. If you bumped into her at a book store, do you remember which section you were
in? What she was reading? Pick up a book of the same author or topic for her. You can’t
imagine how many brownie points that will earn you.
And before you show up for your date, have something about the gift in mind that you
want to talk about. Don’t think that her heart and affection will be yours upon receiving
the gift. You have to know WHY you’re giving it to her, and be able to articulate
it at the
same time.
In her mind, if you get into something just because she is interested in it, that will show
her you can express similar enthusiasm later down the road. And if she starts picturing the
near future with you in it, that’ll do so much for the current date you are going on.
Trust me, you’ll see more enthusiasm on her end, which will make for an engaging
date
for the both of you. And you know what that means…usually another date very soon.
summon
the
courage
鼓起勇气
brownie
points
良好的印象分
buddy
n. (美口)伙伴，朋友，兄弟
open-ended
adj.不受限制的，开放的
chivalrous
adj. 武士精神的，（男士对女士）彬彬有礼的
Leave
it
to
Beaver
美国过去的一部电视喜剧连续剧，此处指过时的
wimpy
adj.(俚)=wimpish 软弱的
cheesy
adj.（俚语）质量低劣的
a
fake
smile
虚假的笑容
articulate
vt.清晰明白地说
engaging
adj. charming 吸引人的，有魅力的
终于，你鼓起万般勇气，敲定要和你心仪已久的热门对象约会。你站在门口，手上拿着花和糖果，想
象她一开门你就达阵得分。小伙子，我得告诉你，你的约会对象也许和你想象的恰好相反。
如果你邀请女士和你约会，先要做计划。女人喜欢有计划和自信的人。问开放式的问题，比如说“谈
谈你生长的地方”，要比问“你来自哪里？”要好的多。这样可以让谈话继续下去。男士们，你们应该为约会
对象开门和拉椅子。这些体现风度的行为可以留下好印象：约会地点选在她家附近，而不是你家附近。最
重要的是你买单。
花和糖果曾经代表了“罗曼蒂克”和“绅士风度”。那已经过时了。时代改变了，女人也改变了。以前行
的通的，现在行不通了。他们不会给你带来任何好处，事实上反而会给你带来负面效果。让我来告诉你为
什么。
在你看来这些是甜蜜的小动作，告诉对方你特别看重这次约会。对她来说花和糖果代表了希望获得她
注意的小小表示。没有创意，缺乏创造力，再平凡俗气不过了。你得到的也许就是婉尔一笑，如果幸运的
话也许是一个拥抱，但都缺乏诚意。一次打击！
不仅仅是她缺乏诚意，你也失去了最后一点点你所希望建立的形象。任何人都能送花，所以你要做一
些与众不同的事。
试试做些不同的事。想想你和她谈过的话。如果你听进去了，也许她暗示过你很多她喜欢的和不喜欢
的东西，多过她想告诉你的。
你曾经在哪里碰到过她？咖啡店？购物中心？给她带点有隐含意义的东西表明你不仅细致而且积极。
如果你曾和她在书店偶遇，你是否记得是在哪个区域？她在看什么？带上一本同样作者或话题的书，你无
法想象这样可以得多少分。
在你赴约前，脑海中想想你要谈论的礼物。不要认为她收到你礼物后会把心交给你或很爱慕你。你要
知道你为什么送给她，并同时明确的告诉她。
在她心里，如果你是因为她有兴趣而去学习某些东西，就表示不久你会和她在同一事务上倾注同样的
热情。一旦她将你规划在她不久的将来中，就会对你继续约会下去很有帮助。
相信我，你可以看到她的热情，对你们两来说都是有意义的约会。你知道这意味着什么…通常不久就
会有下一次约会。