照顾好自己

肖申克的救赎

照顾好自己


    我同我现在知道的伴有成人注意缺陷障碍的躁郁症斗争有好些年了。这真不容易。你可以说我正在治疗的初期，自从4年前我被诊断得了病。好象能服用的药我几乎都服用过了。

    我今年31岁，有3个孩子。2年前他们被人从我身边带走。我正在高剂量地服用5种不同的药，它们没能把我的症状控制下来。我开始酗酒，一整夜出去跳舞并一直拥有许多性伙伴。我的家简直糟糕透了。（我再也没有能力坚持做家务了。）

    我的儿子患有儿童多动症。他没有多动症状，但是他的注意广度非常窄，我担心他可能也有躁郁症。回想那时，我们不断地争吵。我们后退和前进，我们俩都不知道我们正在同一种疾病搏斗着。

    一天我儿子带着他的妹妹偷偷地溜出家，那时他们一个7岁，一个4岁。他们跑到附近公园里的池塘里去游泳。邻居看见他们在没有大人的监护下游泳，马上叫来了警察，警察来到我家,发现我正在凌乱的房子里熟睡。

    他们把我带进监狱，关了2个星期。我忘带了正在服用的药，我搬到了我父亲的房子里去住。我失去了所有的一切。他们从我身边带走了我的孩子。到现在已经过去2年时间了，我看过许多穿制服的医生，当我告诉他们，他们开给我的药没能控制住我的症状后，他们却置之不理。后来，我终于找到了一名肯倾听我且对我和蔼的医生。

    我现在是稳定的，并坚持服用医生开给我的药。有时侯我不得不把日子掰成一分钟一分钟地来过。我现在是一个非常孤独的人，我没有太多的朋友，但最终我还得依靠我自己。有一次，我几乎不敢相信，我一天到晚都在废寝忘食地工作，如果我的老板不是我的朋友的话，我再也无法保住这个工作。我想我在哪儿干都会被炒鱿鱼的。当我认为我不行的时候，我的老板帮助我找到恢复自信的力量。他教会我为了自己必须站起来，不要让人从我身上踏过。

    我希望有一天我能够生活在没有躁狂、愤怒、偏执狂和抑郁症的日子里。我现在自食其力，然而当我的高潮期导致我过度地花费或当我失去工作，没有足够的钱来支付帐单时，我仍不得不依靠我的母亲一次又一次地救济我。我的大女儿已经回到了我的身边，我得到了另外两个小孩的探视权。我已经做得够远了，我努力工作以求做得更远。我非常感激给予我足够的关心和帮助的每一个人。



Jessica
                       Taking care of myself

I have been struggling for years with what I now know is bipolar II with adult ADD. It’s not easy. You could say I’m in the beginning stages of treatment, since I was just diagnosed 4 years ago. It seems I've been on almost every medication there is.

I am 31 and I have 3 kids. Two years ago they were taken away from me. I was taking five different medications at high doses, and they weren’t keeping my symptoms under control. I was drinking, going out dancing all night and having many sexual partners all the time. My house was a disaster. (I had never been able to keep up housework.)

My son has ADD. He’s doesn’t have hyperactivity, but his attention span is very short and I worry he may have bipolar also. Back then, we argued constantly. We went back and forth, neither of us knowing it was a disease we were fighting against.

One day my son sneaked out of the house with his sister. At the time they were seven and four years old. They went swimming in the nearby park’s pool. Neighbors saw them swimming with no adult around and called the cops, who came over and found me sleeping in my messy house.

They took me to jail for two weeks. I got off all the medications I was taking and moved to my dad’s house. I had lost everything. They took my kids from me. It’s now been two years, and I have finally found a doctor who listens and has been kind to me, after seeing a lot of uninformed doctors who didn't listen when I told them the medications they prescribed were not controlling my symptoms.

I am now stable, and taking medications that work for me. Sometimes I need to take life minute-by-minute to make it through. I am a very solitary person now. I don't have many friends but at least I can depend on myself. For once, I am working full-time, which I can hardly believe. If my boss were not also a friend, I would never have survived this job. I think I would have been fired anywhere else. My boss helped me find strength to make it when I didn't think I would. He taught me to stand up for myself and not let people walk all over me.

I hope that one day I’ll be able to live without panic, anger, paranoia and depression. I am, for once, doing things on my own, though I still have to depend on my mom from time to time when my highs cause me to over-spend or when I miss work and don't have enough money to pay my bills. My oldest daughter is back with me full time and I get visitation with my youngest two. I have made it this far, and I am working hard to make it farther. I am so thankful to everyone who has cared enough to help me.

http://www.dbsalliance.org/stories/Jessica.html

cocofu

肖申克的救赎，你叫这个名字，一定对《肖申克的救赎》这部影片有很深的感触，能讲一讲你对这部片子的评论和感悟吗？


有一种鸟是关不住的，它的每一根羽毛都闪烁着自由的光辉。
——《肖申克的救赎》