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粗译一下,请楼主审察。
第六天:支持
严重的心理疾病必然需要他人的帮助。有时我很厌恶这点,因为我向来以自力为荣,但我也认为正是他人才使我们的生活有了价值。
术业有专攻。当我们心底脆弱无助之时,我们需要专业人士替我们拿主意——按照我们状态正常并全面了解情况时的想法来拿主意;而当我们仍然低落但却仍可做出决定时,我们需要他们尊重我们的决定。
但不论水平多高、经验多足、态度多么和善,他们毕竟不同于我们。他们还是可能做出我们不愿意看到的事,说出我们不愿意听的话。我们对他们的期望有时太高了。
我在躁郁混杂的状态下去看精神科医生,迫切地渴望得到他的帮助,但也可能一语不合就恨不得一口把他咬死,我告诉他我这些年来试过十多种药物和好几种系统疗法。这种情况他可能会把药量微调大一点,安排护士多探视几次,或者给我介绍新疗法,他也会好言宽慰我几句,但他并没有药到病除的本事。
我间或去看社区精神科护士,间隔长短取决于我状态的好坏,在我情况最差的时候,护士和其他当地家庭治疗小组的人会到我家来探视。
在病情严重的时候有专业人士来聊一聊会有所缓解,不过有时候虽然痛苦但却无法描述,这时他们会替我来说,之后我会觉得我根本不是在和交流,只是被人说教。不过如果没有这些护士帮忙,可能我根本活不到今天。
医疗师中,有些我能够坦诚地倾诉,有些却不能。他们水平不一,在对病人感受的理解和倾听的耐心上各有不同。谈话疗法会起作用,但不能替代其他支持。
电话求助热线风格各有不同,我能活下来有这些热线的一份功劳,但每当电话线另一端那个人以为我想要的就是他们来告诉我该做什么时,我总会勃然大怒。我想要的不是这个。我只是想要他们在那里陪伴着我。
朋友和家人对我适度的爱与支持使我感觉到生命的价值,尤其是我的父母。大多数朋友在我病情特别严重的时候并不想理会,但有些会一直在身边守候,我也结交了一些新朋友。这些朋友在身边会鼓起我对有价值的生活的渴望。下次我会再多聊一聊我目前是怎样努力去做到这些的。
Day six: support
One of the things about severe mental illness is the need for help from others. There are times when I resent this, because I value my autonomy highly, but at the same time I think other people are what makes life worth living.
There are the professionals. When we are fragile and the essence of ourselves is at its most vulnerable, we want professionals to make the decisions that we would be making if we were well enough and well-enough informed to make; and when we are still distressed but well enough to make decisions, we want them to respect those decisions.
But however well-qualified, experienced and kind they may be, they’re not us. They may do or say things that we wouldn’t want. We may expect too much of them.
When I turn up to see my psychiatrist in a mixed manic and depressed state, desperate for help but ready to bite his head off at everything he says, telling him that I have tried literally dozens of medications over the years and several types of therapy, he can adjust my medication a little more, arrange some extra visits from my nurse, or maybe refer me for yet more therapy, and he can offer some kind words, but he has no miracle cure.
I see my community psychiatric nurse (CPN) at intervals, varying according to how well I am, and when I am at my worst, nurses and others from the local home treatment team visit me at home.
It generally helps to have experienced professionals there to talk me through the rough patches, although there comes a point in my misery where I cannot find the words to express how I am, so they fill the gaps and I am left feeling that I have been talked at, not with. Yet without the help of nurses I would not be alive today.
There are the therapists. Some I have been able to talk to frankly, some I have not. They have varied in their levels of empathy and in how far they listened to what I wanted to say. Talking therapies can help, but they are not a substitute for other support.
There are the telephone helplines. Each has it’s own unique style, each has contributed to keeping me alive, and each has infuriated me at the point at which someone at the other end has assumed that what I want of them is that they should tell me what to do. I don’t. I simply want them to be there for me.
There are my friends and family, who give me the love and support I need to feel that life is worth living, especially my parents. Most friends did not want to know when I got really ill, but some stuck by me and I have made new ones. With them, I can look forward to a life worth living. Next time, I’ll tell you more about how I’m trying to do that. |
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