如何帮助患病的亲人或爱人？

malnu

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5.0 How do I help a friend or loved one?
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Bipolar Disorder doesn't just affect the person who's diagnosed with it,
unfortunately. In this section, we talk about some things that friends,
family members, and loved ones can do to cope and help when someone they care
about is diagnosed.


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5.1 What to do (and what not to do) when someone you care
about is diagnosed
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Twelve things to do if your loved one has depression, manic-depression,
or some other mood disorder:

1. Don't regard this as a family disgrace or a subject of shame.
Mood disorders are biochemical in nature, just like diabetes, and
are just as treatable.

2. Don't nag, preach or lecture to the person. Chances are
he/she has already told him or herself everything you can
tell them. He/she will take just so much and shut out the rest.
You may only increase their feeling of isolation or force one
to make promises that cannot possibly be kept. (I promise I'll
feel better tomorrow honey; I'll do it then, okay?)

3. Guard against the "holier-than-thou" or martyr-like attitude.
It is possible to create this impression without saying a word.
A person suffering from a mood disorder has an emotional
sensitivity such that he/she judges other people's attitudes
toward him/her more by actions, even small ones, than by spoken
words.

4. Don't use the "if you loved me" appeal. Since persons with mood
disorders are not in control of their affliction, this approach
only increases guilt. It is like saying, "If you loved me, you
would not have diabetes."

5. Avoid any threats unless you think them through carefully and
definitely intend to carry them out. There may be times, of
course, when a specific action is necessary to protect children.
Idle threats only make the person feel you don't mean what you say.

6. If the person uses drugs and/or alcohol, don't take it away from
them or try to hide it. Usually this only pushes the person into
a state of desperation and/or depression. In the end he/she will
simply find news ways of getting more drugs or alcohol if he/she
wants them badly enough. This is not the time or place for a
power struggle.

7. On the other hand, if excessive use of drugs and/or alcohol is
really a problem, don't let the person persuade you to use drugs
or drink with him/her on the grounds that it will make him/her
use less. It rarely does. Besides, when you condone the use of
drugs or alcohol, it is likely to cause the person to put off
seeking necessary help.

8. Don't be jealous of the method of recovery the person chooses.
The tendency is to think that love of home and family is enough
incentive to get well, and that outside therapy should not be
needed.

Frequently the motivation of regaining self respect is more
compelling for the person than resumption of family
responsibilities. You may feel left out when the person turns
to other people for mutual support. You wouldn't be jealous
of their doctor for treating them, would you?

9. Don't expect an immediate 100 percent recovery. In any
illness, there is a period of convalescence. There may be
relapses and times of tension and resentment.

10. Don't try to protect the person from situations which you believe
they might find stressful or depressing. One of the quickest ways
to push someone with a mood disorder away from you is to make them
feel like you want them to be dependent on you.

Each person must learn for themselves what works best for them,
especially in social situations. If, for example, you try to
"shush" people who ask questions about the disorder, treatment,
medications, etc., you will most likely stir up old feelings of
resentment and inadequacy. Let the person decide for THEMSELVES
whether to answer questions, or to gracefully say "I'd prefer to
discuss something else, and I really hope that doesn't offend you".

11. Don't do for the person that which he/she can do for him/herself.
You cannot take the medicine for him/her; you cannot feel his/her
feelings for him/her, and you can't solve his/her problems for
him/her; so don't try. Don't remove problems before the person
can face them, solve them or suffer the consequences.

12. Do offer love, support, and understanding in the recovery,
regardless of the method chosen. For example, some people
choose to take meds; some choose not to. Each has advantages
and disadvantages (more side-effects versus greater possibility of
relapse, for example). Expressing disapproval of the method
chosen will only deepen the person's feeling that anything
they do will be wrong.

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5.0 我如何帮助亲人或爱人？
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很不幸，双相情感障碍影响的不仅是被诊断病人。在这部分里，我们来谈一谈一些朋友、家人和爱人可以你关爱的病人做些什么。
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5.1 你关爱的人被诊断后该做什么（不该做什么）。
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爱人抑郁、躁郁或其他情感障碍时要做的12件事。

1.不要把这个当成家庭的耻辱或羞耻。情感障碍本身是生物化学性质的，就像糖尿病一样，而且同样可治。

2. 不要向病人唠叨、说教或讲道。他们可能早把该说的都对自己说了。能接受的早就接受了，不能接受的说了也白说。你只可能增加他们的孤立感或强迫他们做出不大可能遵守的承诺。（宝贝，我保证明天会感觉好些人，我那时再做，好吗？）

3. 谨防带有“假装神圣”或“殉道者般”的态度。你可能不发一言就给人留下这种印象。情感障碍的人一般情绪敏感，往往从他人的动作而非言语，甚至从一些很小的动作中，判断他人的态度。

4. 不要用“如果你爱我就…”这种请求。有情感障碍的人控制不了自己的痛苦，这种办法只会加重他们的负罪感。就好比说：“如果你爱我，就不会得糖尿病了。”

5. 避免任何威吓，除非你考虑清楚而且肯定要实施。当然有时要保护小孩子时必须要做出一些动作。但无谓的威吓会使人觉得你言不由衷。

6. 如果这个人使用毒品或酒，不要从他们身边拿走或高法隐藏起来。这一般会使他们陷入绝望或抑郁的境地。他们结果会在需要时设法弄到更多的毒品或酒。不要和病人进行权力斗争。

7. 另一方面，如果用毒品或酒精过度确实成问题，那么不要让此人以和你一起用药/酒会使他少用一些为由说服你和他一起用药/酒。这样也很少达到他所说的效果。此外，当你原谅他们使用毒品或酒精时，很可能使人耽误寻求必要帮助的时间。

8. 不要对此人选择的康复办法有忌妒之心。一般人们会觉得家庭之爱足以促其康复，不需要外界的疗法。

通常重获自尊的动力比家庭责任的恢复相比更加迫切。当亲人向其他人寻找相互支持时你会感觉被遗弃。你不会因为医生治疗他们而吃醋的，对吧。

9. 不要指指望100％的康复。许多病症都有逐渐康复期。可能有复发和紧张、怨恨等情绪出现。

10. 不要努力保护此人，使其不去经受你认为可能会令他们紧张或抑郁的情况。让情感障碍者觉得你想让他们依靠你会把心爱的从身边推开。

每个人都必须自己学会最有效的面对一些东西，尤其是社会情况。例如，有人问起情感障碍、治疗、用药时，你如果“嘘”地制止提问，那么就可能激起以往的怨恨或自卑。让他自己决定是回答，还是有风度地说声“如果不介意的话，我想谈点别的”。

11. 不要越俎代疱，做他们自己能做的事。你不能代他/她服药，不能感觉到他/她的情感，不能解决他/她的问题，所以不要试图这样做。不要在他/她面对、解决或承受问题之前就把问题解决掉。

12. 不论选择何种方法，一定要在康复过程中爱、支持、理解。例如有人选择服药，有人不选。两种各有优劣势（譬如一种副作用多，另一种容易复发）。对选择的方法表示异议会加重病人受挫感，认为凡是他们做的事情都是错的。

malnu

似乎太过专注地翻译相关材料，对自己的情绪倒不是特别积极。尤其是因为翻译这个工作有些做不完，更加重了负罪感。
今后还会翻译，但可能不会像这两个工作日这样大批量地做了。还请见谅。

gracew

还需要更实用的!

eutgoeru

malnu辛苦啦~

刘端海

　　　劳逸结合注意休息，你的分享让大家收益！！

wuli

辛苦辛苦，谢谢！