|
学会生存
我的整个生活都在同抑郁症搏斗着,我总是有一种孤感,
甚至在一个人群拥挤的房间里也是如此。我有过惊恐发作,
我不停地哭泣。我曾三次精神崩溃,住过三次医院。我听
到了声音并且看到了东西,其实它们根本就不存在。我看见
活着的和死去的人,我听到了他们的声音。这只是我大部分
的恐惧折磨的生活之一。
有时侯我真的理解不了自己,我怎么会在很快乐的一分钟后
又陷入如此的沮丧之中呢?
25岁时,我被诊断得了病,经过多年的隔绝、寂寞和自杀未遂
后,我不再自爱或自怜,意识变得模糊,躯体出现疼痛,还失去了
工作。我的家庭也不理解我,我到底怎么了!直到1991年,我被
确诊为双相性情感障碍症。
直到我精神崩溃几个月以后,我对关于一些心理疾病的事都一无所知,
到那时我才把“出窍”的灵魂给找了回来。
有一段日子很难熬,但是我明白我必须活下去。我开始学着爱自己、
爱生命、爱生活和拥有希望。我试图不再否认我患有心理疾病并且
明白最重要的事情是——不要放弃治疗!
无论谁都应该知道:如果你正在经受痛苦的煎熬,那你就有希望。
我信仰上帝,我有一个结婚14年且非常爱我的丈夫,他给予我22年
的支持。曾有人告诉我,如果你得了双相性情感障碍,那维持婚姻是不可能的。我用事实证明了那不是真的。
从我试图自杀到现在已经差不多有3年了,我正在尽最大努力不再让我的心灵回到过去,无论我的心灵还是邪恶的疾病都没有告诉我,我的生命是没有价值的或者我是孤独的或没有人爱我。现在我明白了这些事情都不是真理。我每天都在获取和实现希望。我的确拥有希望。
Angela
Learning to live
I have battled depression all my life. I have always felt alone, even in a crowed room. I have panic attacks. I cry a lot. I’ve had three nervous breakdowns. I have been hospitalized three times. I heard voices and saw things that were not there. I saw living and dead people. I heard voices. It was one of the most horrifying ordeals of my life.
Sometimes I don't understand myself. How I can be so happy one minute and so sad the next?
I was diagnosed at age 25, after years of isolation, loneliness, suicide attempts, not loving or liking myself, confusion, physical pain, not being able to keep a job, and my family not understanding what was wrong with me. All that ended in 1991 when I was correctly diagnosed with bipolar disorder.
I did not know anything about any mental illness until several months after my nervous breakdown. By that time I had gotten my mind back.
It is hard to cope some days, but I know I have to survive. I am learning to love myself, love life, love living, and have hope. I am trying to stop denying that I have a mental illness and MOST IMPORTANTLY – STAY WITH MY TREATMENT!
To whomever reads this: If you are suffering, there is hope.
I have my faith in God, and a loving husband of fourteen years who has supported me for 22 years. I was once told that if you have bipolar disorder, it’s impossible to stay married. I have proved that’s not true.
It has been almost three years since I tried to commit suicide. I am doing my best not to go to that place in my mind anymore. Neither my mind nor the devil can tell my life is not worth living or I am alone or no one loves me. Today I know these things are not the truth. I am gaining and getting hope every day. I DO HAVE HOPE.
-
Site last updated: July 21, 2004
Home | Need Help? | Get on our Mailing List | Search this Site
Site Map | FAQs | Terms of Use and Privacy Statement | Contact Us
Make DBSA Your Home Page | Add DBSA To Your List of Favorites
Why You Can Trust Information on This Site
& 2004 Depression and Bipolar Support Alliance. All rights reserved.
This site is for educational purposes only and is not to replace the advice
of a healthcare professional |
|