标题: 如何帮助患病的亲人或爱人？ [打印本页] 作者: malnu 时间: 06-2-27 10:23 标题: 如何帮助患病的亲人或爱人？ ------------------------------------------------------------------------------
5.0 How do I help a friend or loved one?
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Bipolar Disorder doesn't just affect the person who's diagnosed with it,
unfortunately. In this section, we talk about some things that friends,
family members, and loved ones can do to cope and help when someone they care
about is diagnosed.
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5.1 What to do (and what not to do) when someone you care
about is diagnosed
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Twelve things to do if your loved one has depression, manic-depression,
or some other mood disorder:
1. Don't regard this as a family disgrace or a subject of shame.
Mood disorders are biochemical in nature, just like diabetes, and
are just as treatable.
2. Don't nag, preach or lecture to the person. Chances are
he/she has already told him or herself everything you can
tell them. He/she will take just so much and shut out the rest.
You may only increase their feeling of isolation or force one
to make promises that cannot possibly be kept. (I promise I'll
feel better tomorrow honey; I'll do it then, okay?)
3. Guard against the "holier-than-thou" or martyr-like attitude.
It is possible to create this impression without saying a word.
A person suffering from a mood disorder has an emotional
sensitivity such that he/she judges other people's attitudes
toward him/her more by actions, even small ones, than by spoken
words.
4. Don't use the "if you loved me" appeal. Since persons with mood
disorders are not in control of their affliction, this approach
only increases guilt. It is like saying, "If you loved me, you
would not have diabetes."
5. Avoid any threats unless you think them through carefully and
definitely intend to carry them out. There may be times, of
course, when a specific action is necessary to protect children.
Idle threats only make the person feel you don't mean what you say.
6. If the person uses drugs and/or alcohol, don't take it away from
them or try to hide it. Usually this only pushes the person into
a state of desperation and/or depression. In the end he/she will
simply find news ways of getting more drugs or alcohol if he/she
wants them badly enough. This is not the time or place for a
power struggle.
7. On the other hand, if excessive use of drugs and/or alcohol is
really a problem, don't let the person persuade you to use drugs
or drink with him/her on the grounds that it will make him/her
use less. It rarely does. Besides, when you condone the use of
drugs or alcohol, it is likely to cause the person to put off
seeking necessary help.
8. Don't be jealous of the method of recovery the person chooses.
The tendency is to think that love of home and family is enough
incentive to get well, and that outside therapy should not be
needed.
Frequently the motivation of regaining self respect is more
compelling for the person than resumption of family
responsibilities. You may feel left out when the person turns
to other people for mutual support. You wouldn't be jealous
of their doctor for treating them, would you?
9. Don't expect an immediate 100 percent recovery. In any
illness, there is a period of convalescence. There may be
relapses and times of tension and resentment.
10. Don't try to protect the person from situations which you believe
they might find stressful or depressing. One of the quickest ways
to push someone with a mood disorder away from you is to make them
feel like you want them to be dependent on you.
Each person must learn for themselves what works best for them,
especially in social situations. If, for example, you try to
"shush" people who ask questions about the disorder, treatment,
medications, etc., you will most likely stir up old feelings of
resentment and inadequacy. Let the person decide for THEMSELVES
whether to answer questions, or to gracefully say "I'd prefer to
discuss something else, and I really hope that doesn't offend you".
11. Don't do for the person that which he/she can do for him/herself.
You cannot take the medicine for him/her; you cannot feel his/her
feelings for him/her, and you can't solve his/her problems for
him/her; so don't try. Don't remove problems before the person
can face them, solve them or suffer the consequences.
12. Do offer love, support, and understanding in the recovery,
regardless of the method chosen. For example, some people
choose to take meds; some choose not to. Each has advantages
and disadvantages (more side-effects versus greater possibility of
relapse, for example). Expressing disapproval of the method
chosen will only deepen the person's feeling that anything
they do will be wrong.