学会生存

学会生存

我的整个生活都在同抑郁症搏斗着，我总是有一种孤独感，甚至在一个人群拥挤的房间里也是如此。我有过惊恐发作，我不停地哭泣。我曾三次精神崩溃，住过三次医院。我听到了声音并且看到了东西，其实它们根本就不存在。我看见活着的和死去的人，我听到了他们的声音。这只是我大部分的恐惧折磨的生活之一。

有时侯我真的理解不了自己，我怎么会在很快乐的一分钟后又陷入如此的沮丧之中呢？

25岁时，我被诊断得了病，经过多年的隔绝、寂寞和自杀未遂后，我不再自爱或自怜，意识变得模糊，躯体出现疼痛，还失去了工作。我的家庭也不理解我，我到底怎么了！直到1991年，我被确诊为双相性情感障碍症。

直到我精神崩溃几个月以后，我对关于一些心理疾病的事都一无所知，到那时我才把“出窍”的灵魂给找了回来。

有一段日子很难熬，但是我明白我必须活下去。我开始学着爱自己、爱生命、爱生活和拥有希望。我试图不再否认我患有心理疾病并且明白最重要的事情是——不要放弃治疗！

无论谁都应该知道：如果你正在经受痛苦的煎熬，那你就有希望。

我信仰上帝，我有一个结婚14年且非常爱我的丈夫，他给予我22年的支持。曾有人告诉我，如果你得了双相性情感障碍，那维持婚姻是不可能的。我用事实证明了那不是真的。

从我试图自杀到现在已经差不多有3年了，我正在尽最大努力不再让我的心灵回到过去，无论我的心灵还是邪恶的疾病都没有告诉我，我的生命是没有价值的或者我是孤独的或没有人爱我。现在我明白了这些事情都不是真理。我每天都在获取和实现希望。我的确拥有希望。

Angela

Learning to live

I have battled depression all my life. I have always felt alone, even in a crowed room. I have panic attacks. I cry a lot. I’ve had three nervous breakdowns. I have been hospitalized three times. I heard voices and saw things that were not there. I saw living and dead people. I heard voices. It was one of the most horrifying ordeals of my life.

Sometimes I don't understand myself. How I can be so happy one minute and so sad the next?

I was diagnosed at age 25, after years of isolation, loneliness, suicide attempts, not loving or liking myself, confusion, physical pain, not being able to keep a job, and my family not understanding what was wrong with me. All that ended in 1991 when I was correctly diagnosed with bipolar disorder.

I did not know anything about any mental illness until several months after my nervous breakdown. By that time I had gotten my mind back.

It is hard to cope some days, but I know I have to survive. I am learning to love myself, love life, love living, and have hope. I am trying to stop denying that I have a mental illness and MOST IMPORTANTLY