继续前进

继续前进

我从十七年开始有双相情感障碍的症状，但那时我被诊断为重度抑郁症和边缘性的病态人格。因此，我接受抗抑郁药治疗，但这种治疗总是使我进入躁狂的状态。在我被正确诊断为双相情感障碍前的四年，我的生活象一个忽上忽下的旋转木马。医生给我开了几种不同的药，其中有些让我感到恶心。我曾经自己停止服药，但这使得我的生活更加糟糕。因此，在接下来四年左右的时间里，我一直在更换治疗方法，并始终具有我认为不道德的躁狂发作行为。我为自己在躁狂状态下做的事情感到可耻和内疚，而躁狂过后的抑郁状态使这种痛苦变得非常可怕。我从1995年回到家里，并开始在一家诊所治疗。这次治疗真正改变了我的生活。除了服用传统的药物，我还吃一些新药。

我现在稳定多了，但压力仍然会使我的症状发作。最近，我女儿也得了双相情感障碍，这使我陷入压力极大的境地。她现在正在接受全面的治疗，但在此以前，她用一些在街上买的药物来处理自己的情绪障碍。在很大程度上，我状况较好，但有时症状会发作，使我又陷入躁狂和抑郁的循环之中（最近一次是在稳定四年后发作）。

我也住过几次院，使用电休克治疗来摆脱躁狂之后的抑郁状态。我现在每天都努力对付自己的疾病，并有了很好的医生和治疗师。我知道在我余下的生命里，我要一直和自己的疾病做斗争。当然，开始的时候，不能接受这个事实。但是，我不会放弃。我有自己精神上的出路，有自己生命赖以存在的虔诚，有对上帝的祈祷和服务。患双相情感障碍的朋友们，你们一定要永远都不放弃，一定要找到自己所能找到的最好的治疗。有些诊所可以提供药物样品并提供优惠服务。

永远不要放弃！

英文原文阅读

Megan

Moving on

I started having symptoms of bipolar disorder about seventeen years ago but I was diagnosed with major depressive disorder and borderline personality disorder. So I received anti-depressants that threw me into manic episodes. My life was an up and down merry-go-round for about four years until I was correctly diagnosed with bipolar disorder. I was prescribed several different medications, some of which made me sick. I stopped taking them and made my life even worse. So, for about four more years I went from one treatment to another, all the while having manic episodes that I thought were just immoral activity. I suffered deep guilt and shame for the things that I did when manic and the depressions that followed made the pain horrible to deal with. I came home in 1995 and started getting treatment at a clinic that really made the difference for me. I started taking newer medications that had come out, as well as some older medications.

I am more stable today, but stress can still cause me to have an episode. I have been in very stressful situations lately, involving my daughter who also has bipolar disorder. She is just now getting comprehensive treatment but she previously used street drugs to deal with her disorder. For the most part I do well, then an episode will occur (the most recent one after four years of stability!) and throw me into a cycle of mania then deep depression.

I have also had several hospitalizations during episodes and had ECT treatment to bring me out of the depressions following a mania. I work now every day to deal with this condition and have a wonderful doctor and therapist. I know I will have to deal with this for the rest of my life and I resisted that at first, of course. But I will not give up. I have a spiritual outlet, faith that I live by, prayer and service to God. Those of you who have bipolar disorder, please don't ever give up and please get the best medical care you can find. Clinics offer sample medication and offer reduced fees for services.

Never give up!

原文链接： http://www.dbsalliance.org/stories/Megan.html