1,001 Smiles!!!!
Let's smile-laugh--haha together!!! 1. If i were given the choice between my heart's desire and a cheese sandwich, i would definitely choose the cheese sandwich. AFter all, nothing's better(to be continued....) After all, nothing's better than your heart's desire, and a cheese sandwich is better than nothing. 2. there are three kids in the family... one of each sex. 3. How could ou have a son that age?
i didn't. When i had him he was just a baby. 4. Mom, please will you buy me a bicycle for my birthday?
Will it make you behave any better if i do?
No, but i'll behave over a wider area. 5. vow of silence
a man joined an abbey and took a vow of silence: he was allowed to speak only two words every five years. after the first five years had passed, he went to see the abbot and said: "bed hard"
whereupon he turned around and walked out of the door.
Five years later he went to see the abbot again and said: food cold. again, he turned and walked out.
AFter another 5 years had passed, he once more went to see the abbot. the time he said: "I QUIT".
"i am not surprised, responded the abbot. "All you've done since you got her is coplain." "All you've done since you got her is coplain."
Sorry, I'm a little bit puzzled...
her--here?
coplain--complain? coplain--complaint? typo. it should be: complain.
sorry and "wow, you are so great!" to Kathy!!!
Kathy, don't you want to comtribute yours?
6: 6. This guy wanders into a bar in Germany one day and orders a drink. Sitting down he notices two guys, the spitting image(look exactly the same) of Hitler and Goering. Wandering over to them he says 'Hey, you know that you two look exactly like Hitler and Goering ?'
'Sure', says Goering 'cos we are. We've been hiding out in South America for a few years and now we've decided to make a come back. This time we are going to exterminate (kill)9 million Jews and 10 computer analysts'.
'Why the 10 analysts?', says the guy.
'See', says Goering to Hitler, 'I told you no one cared about the Jews'. hahaha...............HAHAHA....................
that's really good one! thanks to Kat! 7. If a dog's prayers were answered, bones would fall from the sky. Teacher: Here are 2 birds, one is a swallow, the other is sparrow. Now who can tell us which is which?
Student: I cannot point out but I know the answer.
Teacher: Please tell us.
Student: The swallow is beside the sparrow and the sparrow is beside the swallow.
Teacher:...
P.S. He is so cute... New Years Resolutions
1. Gain weight. At least 30 pounds.
2. Stop exercising. Waste of time.
3. Read less. Makes you think.
4. Watch more TV. You've been missing some good stuff.
5. Procrastinate more. Starting tomorrow.
6. Stop bringing lunch from home: Eat out more.
7. Get in a whole NEW rut!
8. Spend your summer vacation in Cyberspace.
9. Don't eat cloned meat.
10. Create loose ends.
11. Get more toys.
12. Get further in debt.
13. Don't believe politicians.
14. Break at least one traffic law.
15. Avoid airplanes that spontaneously drop 1000 feet.
16. Don't swim with piranhas or sharks.
17. Associate with even worse business clients.
18. Spread out priorities beyond ability to keep track of them.
19. Wait around for opportunity.
20. Focus on the faults of others.
21. Mope about faults.
22. Never make New Year's resolutions again.